The Downs'

Merry CHRISTmas from the Downs'!!!

2009-12-16T11:08:00.000-08:00

One Year Photoshoot

2009-12-07T17:48:00.001-08:00

Who does he look like??

2009-11-28T09:33:00.001-08:00

I FINALLY got some pictures of Drew and I when we were little. We've tried to figure out who Griffin looks like it....I think I have to say he looks like both of us!

Drew and I with our great grandparents.

So......what do you think?

Truly blessed....

2009-11-25T13:11:00.000-08:00

I have so much to be thankful for this, I don't even know where to begin. We are a blessed nation, and yet we are so ungrateful.

I got an idea from a friend about a family tradition that her family does every year. I am going to start it this year with my family! At each thanksgiving meal, have every one write down the biggest blessing that they are thankful for from that year on a strip of paper. At some point during the time together, take a picture of the entire family. In a scrapbook, write down the year, family, place, etc. and either tape or put the strips of paper in a 'pocket'. Every Thanksgiving you can reflect back on what the Lord did in the previous year. So years down the road, you can look back, and in their own handwriting, see what the Lord has done. Griffin has 4 grandparents, 7 great grandparents, and 1 great great grandmother still alive. I want to one day be able to show him what the Lord did in our family each year, and how rich and truly blessed we are.

Here are just a few things I'm thankful for....

....my precious, godly, goofy, funny, handsome, and incredibly talented husband.

I love you Drew.

Thank You Lord, I am truly blessed.

....my precious son, who last year at his birth, we didn't know if he would survive. But look at him now! God has worked a miracle in our lives through Griffin. He is a beautiful, silly, stubborn, gentle and precious little one year.

I love you Griffin.
Thank You Lord, I am truly blessed.

....my parents, who raised me in a godly home, we loved me unconditionally, we live a godly life and marriage before me, who took Drew in as their own son, who love Griffin and go above and beyond what the average grandparents are today.

I love you Mama and Daddy.
Thank You Lord, I am truly blessed.

....my in-laws, who took me in as their own daughter and have loved me unconditionally, who raised my husband into the godly man that he is, and who love Griffin and go above and beyond what the average grandparents are today.

I love you Jimmy and Gina.

Thank You Lord, I am truly blessed.

....all of the precious grandparents in my life, who love me and my family, who live out the christian walk in front of me, and who are leaving an incredible heritage behind.

I love you Granny, Pop, Grandmother (GiGi), Granny Russell, Alicee, Granny Adcock, Grandaddy and Grandma.

Thank You Lord, I am truly blessed.

....my brothers and sister-whether by blood or marriage, who love me unconditionally, who are walking in the truth and striving to be all God wants them to be. Who I made lifetime memories with growing up, and who I can truly call my best friends!

I love you Chris, Tiffany, Lauren, Nacho, Mary Kate, Jordan, Jonathan and Heather.

Thank You Lord, I am truly blessed.

....a house where I am warm in the winter, cool in the summer, where there is always plenty of food to eat and plenty of joy and laughter within it's rooms.

Thank You Lord, I am truly blessed.

....for friends who are there for us, no matter the situation, not matter the time of day or night, who give me a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold, and who celebrate in the good times with me. I love you all. Thank You Lord, I am truly blessed.

....for a car that works (and is paid for!), that gets me where I need to go so I don't have to walk. Thank You Lord, I am truly blessed.

....for a church and pastor that teaches the entire Word of God, that challenges and encourages me and supports me. Thank You Lord, I am truly blessed.

....for the soldiers who are fighting for our freedom, so that I can even say these words, so that I can worship my Savior, so that I can live in peace and not fear. I love you all. Thank You Lord, I am truly blessed.

....for my husband's job, that allows me to stay home with Griffin, that pays our needs and even our wants. Thank You Lord, I am truly blessed.

....and the list could go on and on.

There are not words enough to express how grateful I am.

But.......Thank You Lord, I am truly blessed.

Fall Fun

2009-11-23T10:57:00.001-08:00

Yes, I'm double posting today! I'm trying to get caught up before the holidays!! And while Griffin is taking a nap and I actually have time! Just some pics of all that we have been doing this fall!! Have a said before, I LOVE being a stay at home mommy?!?! It is a dream come true! Thank you Lord!!!! (and Drew :)

Griffin's best bud Lakin:)
I keep Lakin 3 days a week now. And they are really just like brothers.
They have SO much fun together! I love watching them play :)

They were helping me fold clothes :)

Lakin turned 1 on October 30th and had a costume party. We thought Griffin was a puppy dog, but some said he looked like a lion cub. So, we aren't sure what he was! Ha
But he was pretty darn cute either way :)

Trying to decide if he wanted to jump or not....

The boys :)

The joys of learning to walk

When Griffin first started walking, he took a nose dive into the coffee table :(
He had a black eye by morning!!!!

But he did enjoy the nursing and attention...just like a man! :)

We took Griffin to his first Fiddler's Convention :)

He was just starting to walk and wanted to walk everywhere!!!
It was so much fun :)

Gan and Grandaddy--Griffin's Great Grandparents!!

North Carolina Trip

2009-11-02T09:59:00.000-08:00

I know this was a while back :/ But with two one year olds, it is quit difficult to keep up a blog :) Here are some pics of our trip with Uncle Dan and Aunt Sumer to Hendersonville, NC.

All packed up and ready to go!!

Gorgeous!!!

On Saturday, we went to Sky Top Orchard to pick our own apples!!
It was SO much fun! (and it was a game day, hence the Bama wear :)

He LOVED his baby apple :)

I think he was having fun :)

Best Friends!!!!!

We went to the University of North Carolina Arboretum.
This was a hiking trail where we stopped for lunch.
A beautiful place!

We drove the Blue Ridge Parkway. WOW!!! It was absolutely incredible!

The highest elevation we reached! And boy was it colder up there!!!
We laughed at them because they were acting like they didn't know how to hold a baby :)

Griffin loved the view too :)

A waterfall we went to see (don't remember the name of it) You can't tell from the picture, but this was HUGE. You may be able to see how tiny the people are at the bottom swimming.

We couldn't get the waterfall behind us :/

Time to go home :(

We had the BEST time. Something we hope to get to do together every year! And thanks to Dan's grandparents, we had a free cabin to stay in :) Ready for next year!!!!

To my precious son....

2009-10-06T08:53:00.000-07:00

Sweet Griffin,

Wow, what a year this has been! I can't believe you are already a year old!! What a journey we have taken with you :) I knew I would love you, but I never knew this much!! You are such a precious little life. You came into this world early, so tiny, so fragile, and look at you now!! I'll never forget the feeling of when I first saw you. I didn't know at that time if would be okay and healthy. But God had such an incredible thing to teach me and daddy. We saw His mighty hand work in your precious little body. You were so healthy, and so perfect!! And it was all because of HIM!!!

Griffin, I can't even put into words how special you are to me. You are my little miracle! Every day I look at you and marvel at our Father and how much He loves us! He loves YOU Griffin!! He formed you inside of me and made you into a sweet and precious little boy. He has given me the privilege to raise you and love you. You are our gift sweet boy. My hearts desire is to see you grow up and love the Lord with all of your heart. To grow into a strong and mighty man of God. To love His Word and His heart. To one day marry a precious woman of God and raise up your own children. "I have no greater joy than to know that my children walk in the Truth" (3 John 1:4) My prayer is that you will see the plan the Lord has for your life, and follow that path Griffin. I pray that God puts Godly people in your life to encourage you and challenge you as you walk this journey called life. I pray that He uses you in a mighty way for His kingdom.

I can already, at only a year old, see your stubbornness :) And I pray that it becomes a passion and unwavering commitment to Him. You are also so very loving. I love our times on the couch, when you sit in my lap and rub my hair :) I love when we are driving down the road, and you begin to 'sing' along with your Bible songs, or when you stand and 'sing' with Praise Baby. Oh, what the does to my heart!!!

I love you sweet Griffin. This has been one of the best years of my life. And I pray that it is the beginning of many to come :) Happy Birthday, my Griff-man!

Love, Mama

Finally!!!!!

2009-08-14T10:05:00.001-07:00

I know it has been WAY too long since I have posted (Thanks for the reminder, Friend. You know who you are :) We had to turn our internet off for a while due to financial matters. I have once again been laid off....since May 8th! But the Lord is so gracious and has provided, just like He always does! So now we have the internet back! SO much has happened since I last posted, so there is no way I can catch you up on our life. But here are a few highlights!

Baby Dedication

We had the honor of dedicating our sweet Griffin to the Lord on Father's Day at Lindsay Lane. We dedicated him the day we found out I was pregnant with him. But this was a special time for our families to see publicly what we had already done with our son. He was precious on stage!!!
What a miracle he is.

Family Photo Shoot

There was too much grass for him to concentrate and look at the camera :) So we have very few pictures of him actually smiling. Oh well. It was still fun and he did great.

This was my favorite of him. I know you can't see his face, but I love it!!!

4th of July!!!!

This was Griffin's first boat ride! He loved the first 5 minutes of it......
then this happened.....

He fell asleep SITTING UP!!!!!!! It was too precious. He slept the entire time until we pulled back into the dock. Oh well.........:)

Then we went and watched Fireworks with our sweet friends
Madelyn and Emmie.
Can you tell Griffin was smitten?? :)

Granny and Pop's

Griffin reading the paper with Pop :) This is Griffin's great grandaddy.
This is a picture I'll cherish forever!!

My precious grandparents.

And finally.....

We had a photo shoot in my parents backyard and at Canebrake Golf Club. Griffin was PERFECT. It took all of maybe 45 minutes to get these shots. I couldn't have asked him to be any better!! These are a few of my favorites. I'm so thankful to have such a talented husband :)

We are so thankful for what the Lord is doing in our lives right now. So much is going on it's crazy! But He is faithful!!!

Summer is here!!!

2009-06-04T08:26:00.000-07:00

I have once again been laid off. It doesn't pay the bills to sit at home, BUT, I am loving every minute I have with Griffin!!! We were able to spend last weekend at Drew's grandparents river house, which was a much needed getaway...we have met Daddy at the park for lunch...we have met our friends April and Mason for lunch at the park....I got Griffin a new pool and he LOVES swimming. We are loving this warm weather and just being able to be outside!

Here are some pics to enjoy :)

We love you Uncle Jordan!!!

2009-05-22T12:12:00.000-07:00

Wow, do I feel old! My youngest brother, Jordan, is graduating next week!!! I can't believe it. Seems like yesterday he was born :)

We had the privilege of going with him to Montgomery last week for High School 1A Baseball State Playoffs. His team (Athens Bible) won last year and was undefeated in Class 1A this year until the 3rd round of playoffs. Unfortunately, they came in 2nd this year, BUT they are still #1 to us :) Here are just a few pics from our trip. We love #23!!!! The best catcher we know :)

One cute little ABS fan :)

Ready for the MLB! Well, college first of course:)

'THE BEAST'

We love you!!!!!!

Random Pictures

2009-03-27T13:21:00.001-07:00

Most of you probably know I have been laid off so I have been home with Griffin for the last 7 weeks. Let me just say it has been the best 7 weeks of my life! My lifelong dream has been to be a stay at home mother. Although this wasn't the circumstances I hoped for, I am enjoying and thankful for every moment I have with my sweet Griffin. I am still looking for a job and will have to go back to work. But I'm soaking up every second I have with him! Here are just a few pictures from our days together :)

Griffin LOVES being outside. I am so ready for Spring to be here! We have had some gorgeous days but they go away :( We want warm days every day!!!

He has started teething so he chews on anything he can get his hands on. I have to change his clothes at least 3 times a day just because they are soaking wet from drool!!

We love his John Deere outfit from Gan and Grandaddy :)

I loves this picture because you can see how blue his eyes are!! My sweet little man :)

Griffin's Firsts....

2009-03-01T13:58:00.000-08:00

His first snow.......

His first time to try green beans....HATED them! haha

5 Months Old

2009-03-01T08:37:00.000-08:00

Yes, I am a very bad Mama. I have not been keeping up with the blog very well :/ And I'm late in getting these posted. I'm sorry!!! :) Here ya go.....

4 months old....

2009-02-04T17:21:00.000-08:00

I have been tagged.........

2009-01-28T11:27:00.000-08:00

I am supposed to give 10 honest things about myself. Let's see......

1. I am the oldest of 5 kids. Growing up people thought we were weird for having so many kids. But I loved it. We had some very crazy times! I don't know how my mom did it. She is my hero! But now that we are older--17 to 26--I absolutely love it! 3 of us are now married so our family continues to grow! I love my family!!!!

2. I was homeschooled. I know, it's hard to believe :) I was given the chance to go to high school, but I chose not to. I loved being at home, making my own schedule, able to work, babysit. I just loved it. Me and my sister Lauren are the only ones that homeschooled K-12. The other three went to high school.

3. I became a christian at 8 years old. Although I have had times in my life when I didn't live right or make the right choices, I am thankful to say I was saved at an early age. I feel like the Lord spared me of so many bad choices that I was able to avoid! Thank you Lord!!!

4. I lived in Birmingham for a year. I went to Samford for a year and lived with my cousin. I LOVED living down there!!! And I would move back in a heartbeat. I worked as an intern in the Music Department for the Assistant Dean doing payroll. I loved my job!!

5. I was going to be a nurse! My lifelong dream was to be a nurse (I think it started out because I loved scrubs and I wanted to be able to wear them :) I actually went to school for it and was ready to start my clinicals. Not exactly sure what happened, but the Lord had other plans. I moved home from Birmingham and went to UAH for a year, still in nursing. Then all of the sudden I decided to change my major to Business! I know, I'm so stupid. And I regret it now. But I never graduated because I met my precious husband, got engaged and got married! Oh well......

6. My favorite job was as a Pharmacy Technician. I absolutely loved this job! I started working at Westside Pharmacy when I was 17 years old. I started out as a Tech. I LOVED it. I love the whole medical field (why I wanted to be a nurse!) but this didn't have to have a degree! Then I started doing the accounting for the pharmacy. I loved that too (why I wanted to go into accounting/business! ha). So it was the perfect job for me. I had the best friends there and actually woke up excited about going to work. I cried the day I left there (it was when I was moving to Birmingham). They had a big going away party for me, gave me gifts, pictures of everyone, a cake, the whole deal. It was great. My boss even prayed with me before I left! I'm telling you, it was the greatest. I would go back there in a heartbeat if I could (if the same people worked there!) I sure do miss those people!

7. I only dated Drew 5 months before we got engaged. All I can say it, when you know, you know!

8. I was scared to death when Griffin was born. I'm sure you all know this by now. But I can't explain the fear that grips a mother when there is a chance you may lose a child. Absolutely terrifying. BUT, I also can't explain the peace that passes all understanding. His grace is sufficient!!!!!

9. I want to have a big family. I would love to have 4 children. I know in today's times that is crazy (and expensive!). But I LOVE my brothers and sisters and we are so close. We are very family-oriented and best friends. And I would love for my children to have that as well. It will be tough to afford and hard when they are small! But it will be worth it.

10. I hate having to be a working mother. Besides being a nurse, my biggest dream was to be a stay at home mama. My mom was and I am SO thankful! I want to be there and raise my children. So right now I absolutely hate my job and wish I wasn't here! Obviously the Lord has other plans right now. Even though I don't understand, I trust Him. I pray that one day I can be at home with my sweet baby.

Our Weekend...........

2009-01-26T07:13:00.000-08:00

Just a few pictures from our weekend....

Griffin's new outfit :) His hat was just a little big!

This is how we found him Thursday morning. He moved so much his foot came out of his outfit :) Too cute!

PRAISE JESUS!!!!!!!

He started getting a little disgusted with the camera :)

This was what I came home to Thursday night. Snoozin' with Aunt Mary Kate

Mama's boy :)

First time to have cereal......a MESS!!!

These were taken at 3 weeks--4lbs 2oz and then at 4 months--11lbs 12.5oz! WOW!!!!!!

Indescribable

2009-01-13T08:48:00.000-08:00

I am going to try to make sense of this post, but I'm not making promises :) My mind and heart are so full right now, I don't know if can put into words what I'm feeling. Several things have happened over the last few weeks that have just taken my breath away. I still don't think I totally know what all is happening. And it probably won't be that big a deal to you, but it was to me. And I just want to share my heart. Thank you for listening :)

Several weeks ago I was sitting at the computer holding Griffin, listening to iTunes and checking my email. I wasn't really paying attention to the music, it was more to keep Griffin happy (he LOVES music!). A very familiar song came on and I started singing along with it, not even realizing it. But the longer I sang along, I started thinking about what I was singing. Here I was, sitting there holding my precious little boy, who could have not made it into this world. I was holding a miracle. And this miracle was not by my doings, not by Drew's doings, no one, but Almighty God. And even though I do not always do the things I'm supposed to do, or don't do what I need to do, He still loves me, and He is always faithful, and gave me this little miracle, in spite of myself. Here are the words I was singing:

From the highest of heights to the depths of the sea

Creation's revealing Your majesty

From the colors of fall to the fragrance of spring

Every creature unique in the song that it sings

All exclaiming

Indescribable,

uncontainable,

You placed the stars in the sky

and You know them by name.

You are amazing God

All powerful,

untameable,

Awestruck we fall to our knees

as we humbly proclaim

You are amazing God

Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go

Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow

Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light

Yet conceals it to bring us the coolness of night

None can fathom

Indescribable,

uncontainable,

You placed the stars in the sky

and You know them by name

You are amazing God

All powerful,

untameable,

Awestruck we fall to our knees

as we humbly proclaim

You are amazing God

As I sang these words, I thought about this--We know God is all powerful, we know He is uncontainable, we know He knows US by name, yet do we really fall to our knees, awestruck by Him? We sing these songs so often, close our eyes, raise our hands, but yet never truly realize what we are singing and saying. We DO serve an amazing God. But I know I don't actually realize sometimes how truly amazing He really is. But as I sat there that day, holding Griffin in my arms, I couldn't' stop the tears from flowing. This awesome, majestic God that made the sun and told it when to shine, that created everything on this earth, also created me, also created my precious little baby and let him live. He didn't have to. He could have taken him at any point. But He didn't. He let him live as a testimony to His amazing grace.

The other part of this story happened Sunday night. For those of you that read the 'Bring the Rain' blog, I'm sure you have watched the video. If you haven't read this blog, I strongly encourage you to. It is an amazing story about a precious little girls very short life, but one that has changed so many people. All because her parents allowed the Lord to use them in the midst of a tragedy. Start from the beginning and read it. Your life will never be the same.

But anyway, I sat once again at my computer, holding my precious son watching this video that Angie Smith made for her sweet Audrey. I can't explain to you how hard I was crying, how gut-wrenching it was to watch it. I don't want to ruin it for those of you that haven't read her story, but I am simply amazed by Angie's faith and strength. She has become one of my heroes. I watched as she held that little girl, knowing that within hours or even minutes, her baby would be in heaven. I watched as she interacted with her little girls on the hospital bed as they loved on their little sister. I watched as at one point she lays her head on Todd's shoulder, like she was saying, 'I need you honey. But I'm also here for you too'. It absolutely broke my heart. But the thing that convicted me the most, was knowing all that I had read previously about her journey through this tragedy. I remembered reading how in spite of God allowing Audrey to only live a short time, her faith in the Lord was even stronger, she was growing closer and closer to her sweet Savior every day, and she was allowing the Lord to use her in ways she never thought possible. I watched the peace that came over here when she looked at the nurse and said 'She's gone'. She was holding her precious baby when she went to be with Jesus. And Angie had the most amazing look on her face. Yes, her heart was breaking, yes, she was probably screaming inside, but she was also peaceful.

Let me just say, God convicted the fire out of me! I was so ashamed of myself as I watched that video, knowing what they were experiencing, yet knowing what has come of that little girls life. I looked back on what Drew and I went through with Griffin's birth. And our story ended SO much happier than Todd and Angie's did. And I have asked why did God let Griffin live and not Audrey? Sometimes I think because He knew I probably wouldn't handle it as well as Angie and may not have the testimony she has through all of this. I don't know. He has a plan for each and every person and I can't question that. Yes, our time during Griffin's birth was by far the scariest time of our lives and very hard. But I can't imagine having a different outcome--like Todd and Angie's. I won't say I couldn't survive that, because I never thought I could go through what we did. His truly gives a peace that passes all understanding! But as I watched that video, and thought about her testimony and what they were allowing the Lord to use them in doing, I was so convicted. Yes, I will never be the same because of what we went through, I give all praise and glory and honor to the Lord for what He did, but in my every day life, what am I doing to show Him my gratitude, what am I doing to draw closer and closer to Him and allow Him to use me?

I will be completely honest, I struggle with having a quiet time every day. I get up at 5:00am and don't stop until after 10:00pm. I'm exhausted when I wake up and I'm exhausted when I go to bed. But that's no excuse. I should be jumping out of bed to spend time with Jesus!! After all He has done for me!! But as I witnessed the video, I thought about my life and the Lord just broke me right there. I was so ashamed of myself. Not necessarily things I was doing, but things I wasn't doing. The Lord used that video to show me how much sweeter my relationship with Him could be if I just walked closer with Him, if I just spent more time with Him, if I just let Him use me. Then I once again thought about the song, Indescribable. Our God IS indescribable, He IS amazing, but what am I doing for Him? How am I worshipping Him in my daily life?

I hope this made some sense. I just had to share my heart. This has been a completely different week since I saw that video. I have talked with Jesus more in the last two days than I have in a long time! It has been amazing. And I pray that He continues to humble me and break me every day as I walk with Him.

Please go read Angie's blog. http://www.audreycaroline.blogspot.com/ You will never be the same.

Here are a few pics of our little miracle :) They are not the best quality because they were taken with a phone.

Looking Back....

2009-01-07T18:51:00.000-08:00

This is a little old, and Griffin was tiny! But I was looking back over all that has happened in the last 3 1/2 months and found this video Drew put together. I am still amazed at all that the Lord has done in our lives. His grace is truly amazing. Listen to the words of this song. Brings tears to this mama's eyes every time!

My Christmas Present

2008-12-29T18:26:00.000-08:00

Drew had a photo shoot with Griffin one night at our house. SO much fun! Then he surprised me with this that he designed/created. PRICELESS!!!! I have such a wonderful, talented husband! I am having this printed in a 12x12 size in Sepia to go in Griffin's room. I LOVE it! Thanks babe!

Griffin.....is growing!!

2008-12-18T21:51:00.000-08:00

Sneak Preview

2008-12-08T12:13:00.000-08:00

Just a quick look at some of our Christmas pictures :)

Cute pics

2008-12-04T13:58:00.000-08:00

Trying on his new hat for the winter :) He wasn't sure what to think!

:)

He is such a happy baby!

My boys! My FAVORITE picture!
He loves his daddy! And knows his daddy loves him :)

First Thanksgiving and IRON BOWL!!!!

2008-11-29T19:13:00.001-08:00

Ready for the game!!!

Cheering with Mama :)

Our friends Sumer and Dan

Our little turkey :)

Hangin' Out

2008-11-26T13:23:00.001-08:00

Just some pics from last week.

Not sure what to think of his Baby Einstein Playmat!

He has found his thumb!!!

This is how we found asleep the other night. He was relaxed and OUT!

I love his tongue hanging out :) He was sound asleep!!

Two Months Old

2008-11-25T17:59:00.000-08:00

It is so hard to believe that Griffin is already two months old! Last Monday (the 10th) was his actual due date. It was so crazy to look at him and think he should JUST now be here! But we just got to meet him 8 weeks early :) Thanks to Jessalee for this idea, we are taking pictures of him every month in the same chair to see how much he has changed and grown! In the first picture, the outfit is a preemie and you can see it is HUGE on him. In the second picture, it is a preemie outfit that fits him :)

Newborn--September 18, 2008

3lbs 7oz, 16in

1 month old--October 18, 2008
4lbs 3oz, 16in

2 months old--November 18, 2008
6lbs 3oz, 19.5in

A Day at the Park

2008-11-21T12:58:00.000-08:00

Our life at home......

2008-11-19T18:26:00.000-08:00

***I am trying to get us up to date so I can post PRESENT DAY happenings :) There is another post before this one to catch up. Also, sorry about the placement of the pictures. Our computer is not cooperating***

Having a preemie at home is scary. But these have been some of the best days of my life! The Lord has blessed us with a wondeful baby! He is so content, happy and just a joy to have. Here are some pics from our days at home.

Just chillin'

Proud Grandaddy and Pooh (there is a sweet story behind her name:)

So sweet.....

One month old (those are regular size pillows!)

I LOVE this picture of him. This is a small
Boppy pillow and he is so tiny curled up
in it!!!

So tiny!!!

I love this picture. Even though it looks like I'm smashing his face :) It's really that he was moving and wouldn't be still for the picture!

One of my favorite outfits he has. Aunt Mary Kate got this for him :) We love you Aunt MK!!

This is one of my dad's favorite things to do. We have a picture of him like this with all 5 kids. Now we are starting on the grandchildren :) This was after an Alabama football game. They were worn out!

4 Generations! I will soon be posting a picture of Drew's side of the family--5 generations! And both sides are Godly familes. We are blessed with such a wonderful, God-centered heritage.

Griffin's first halloween outfit from Nonna and Papa. A precious dalmation puppy :)

Coming Home

2008-11-19T17:31:00.000-08:00

On Thursday, October 9th, the night time nurse told us that Griffin may get to come home that weekend. This was NOT expected at all! He had been having some breathing problems so we thought it would be a while. When we called Friday morning, the 10th, the doctor had already discharged him. They told us to 'Come pick up your baby!!!'. We were thrilled. And scared to death! It was not scary taking care of a 3lb 1oz baby when you had nurses watching you and helping you. But it WAS scary thinking about bringing him home. Alone. Even though he now weighed 4lbs 1oz, he was tiny. And we were all alone!

But we were so excited. We went to the hospital to pick up our son and bring him home. It was the best feeling in the world! My parents were out of town, so Drew's parents met us at our house with cameras in hand :) They visited for a while then left us. Alone. With a 4lb baby!!!!

But God is good and He gave us a peace and calm about it. There were times I was scared during the night. What if he quits breathing? What if he has a brady? What if......? All I wanted at that time was my Mama!!! And she wasn't here! But we made it. And I did actually sleep that night!

But as we drove home from the hospital, I couldn't help but think back over the last 22 days of our life. Things had been hard. Things had been unexpected. Things had been scary. But God was still in control. He was still sovereign. He expected all of this. He made it easier for us. He took away the fear. And He was getting all the glory for it! And Drew and I will never be the same because of this. Our lives have forever been changed. We listen to people talk about their 'problems' and realize, those are not problems! We have NO problems. When we walk into the NNICU and see a baby wrapped in plastic because he was born so early his skin is leaking body fluids, that is a problem. When we watch nurses run over to a baby's bed because she has quit breathing, that's a problem. When we hear of a mother having to have an emergency hysterectomy after her first child because they can't stop the bleeding, that's a problem. When we see mother's and father's sitting for hours on end just watching their child, hoping and praying they make it through the night, that's a problem. And I guess after seeing all of this, my perspective has changed on life and on people. Our society is the most comfortable, spoiled, whining bunch of people. We expect what we want right now and exactly how we want it. We are so incondsiderate of others and their needs. We are just down-right selfish. And I was one of those people. And this applies to us in our Christian walk as well. We demand things of God saying we need it, or it's our 'desire' for Him to do something in our lives, all the while forgetting WHO is in control. WHO gives us each and every breath. WHO is sovereign. He doesn't have to do any of this for us. We don't deserve anything. Yet His wonderful grace gives to us. And His wonderful grace allows us to live. And yet we complain about our 'problems' in life. Yes, some of us do have problems. I'm not saying there are hard times. But we tend to look at things like they are life ending and devastating when in reality, we don't know what devastating is. Anyway, I feel like I"m rambling now :) But God was just really showing me through all of this how much I am NOT in control. And all I have to do is trust Him. He WILL provide and He WILL take care of us! So instead of complaining, why not praise Him for what He has given us?

Here are just a few pics of that wonderful day!

He was so tiny in that carseat!!!!!

Finally home........and loving it!

One proud Nonna... :)

...and one proud Papa :)

The proudest Daddy in the world!

Our life in the NICU

2008-11-11T19:34:00.000-08:00

Here is just a peek into our lives in the NICU. This was what we did every day for 22 days.....drive to Huntsville Hospital and spend time with our son and take as many pictures as we could!! I'm sure you have seen alot of these on Facebook, but just in case you haven't :) This was our journey.......

Griffin got to tan for a couple of days :)
He slept so good under the Bili-light!! (This was for jaundice)

Once Griffin finished 'tanning' he was able to leave the Critical side of the NICU and move to progressive!!!! Praise the LORD!!!! This was his bed in Progressive.

People didn't believe us when we said Griffin smiled!
Well here ya go! He smiled all the time!!!! Absolutely precious.

Our absolutely favorite nurse, Mrs. Carolyn. She was so precious to us! She took Griffin as her own and stayed with him the entire time he was there. WE LOVE YOU MRS. CAROLYN!!!!!!!!

One of my favorite pictures. He is looking into his mommy's eyes :)

I was getting to feed him through the feeding tube.

The paci was almost as big as his face!! Isn't he precious!!!

ROLLLLLL TIIIIIIIIIDE:)

My favorite picture of all!!!!!!!

The hardest day of my life

2008-11-09T18:47:00.000-08:00

When I woke up on September 22nd, I dreaded that day. I didn't even want to get out of bed. I didn't want to think about it. I was going home. Now, for most mama's, this is the best day of their life! They are getting to take home their brand new baby home and start their life as a mother. So this should be an exciting day. But not for me. I even begged the doctor to let me stay another day. But my insurance wouldn't pay for it. See, I was going home alone. Without my baby. And this broke my heart.

I will say I had a very selfish day that day. I kept telling myself it wasn't fair. No mother should have to leave their new baby at the hospital. I kept asking the Lord 'Why me? Why can't I take my baby home with me?'. Needless to say, it was an emotional day for me. Every time I would even think about having to leave I would cry. I remember sitting in the wheelchair waiting for the nurse to take me to the car, and I was just numb. I didn't want this to happen. And I didn't understand WHY it was happening.

Drew picked me up outside and we headed to eat lunch and shop until the NICU opened back up. I did pretty good through lunch and going to Target. We talked and laughed alot, which helped so much. Then we got to go back to the hospital and see our little boy. It was a precious time together. Not that the other times weren't. But this was even more precious because we had to leave him. I knew we would be back every day, but it isn't the same as being in the same building together. I couldn't go down and see him at 2:00am because I was thinking about him. I couldn't be there every time he was awake, or every time they changed his diaper. I would be 40 minutes away and couldn't even drive myself to see him. If something happened, I wouldn't be there to take care of him. If he just needed to hold his mommy's hand, I wouldn't be there. And it broke my heart. My little boy needed me, and I couldn't be there.

I remember having to tell him goodbye. Goodbye Griffin. Goodbye little man. Goodbye precious son. I'll see you tomorrow. Not in a little while. Not when it's time to eat. Not tonight. But tomorrow. A whole day would go by before I could see him. A whole day would go by before I could touch him. And my heart was broken. It just wasn't fair. I barely made it out of the NICU before I started crying. I know the people in the hospital thought I was a crazy women. But I couldn't hold back my emotions. I was leaving empty handed. And leaving my son in the hands of strangers.

But God is good. His grace IS sufficient for whatever we are going through. I had a pity party but God wrapped his arms around me and comforted my broken heart. He showed me that I CAN have the strength--HIS strength--to go through anything. After all, He had brought us this far, why would He let go now?

It was the hardest day of my life. Having to leave my son in a hospital, not knowing how long it would be before he could come home. It was the hardest thing having to call every night before going to bed to ask how he was doing. Or wake up in the middle of the night and wonder what he was doing. How was he breathing? How was he eating? Was he crying? Did he need me? Would he know I was his mama and not the nurses? Would he recognize me? And every time the Lord would comfort me and let me know, Griffin knows who his mama is. He knows who his daddy is. And he was in the best place he could be in right now. He didn't need to be at home! But I needed to trust the Lord still had a plan in all of this. There was a purpose for everything. We may never know what that purpose is, but it was for a reason. And we had to trust. And we had to lean on the Everlasting Arms of our Jesus. And honestly, sometimes that is the hardest place to lean. Because it meant we were not in control. It meant we didn't know what was ahead. It meant we were nothing without Him. And it was hard. It was scary. It was devastating at times. But it was safe. And it was amazing. And it was faith-building. And it was in my Daddy's arm. And there was no place better to be.

The NICU

2008-10-31T10:39:00.000-07:00

Let me just start out saying, if you ever have to use the NICU at Huntsville Hospital, (which I pray you never do) you will be blessed. It is the best facility I have ever seen. The nurses were incredible. The doctors were great. The entire unit was just absolutely amazing. I felt very informed, and up to date with everything going on with Griffin. I felt he was in the best hands he could be in at the time and we couldn't have asked for a better stay. Even though it wasn't where we wanted to be :(

The day after Griffin was born, I had to be put on Magnesium. This helps to prevent seizures while my BP was regulating. I had heard horror stories from girls who had to be on it--you feel like you have the flu, you want to throw up but don't want to get out of bed, horrible things like that. Plus I had just had surgery so I was hurting so bad. So when they started the IV, I was ready for the worst. But Praise Jesus I had none of that!!!! The only thing was I felt like I was sitting in an oven. I could NOT get cooled off. Poor Drew had to sleep in the room with me and I had the air set on 65!!!!! It was pretty cold in there :) But because of that I couldn't get out of bed for the entire day. I couldn't go see my baby and it broke my heart. But I have to brag on Drew. He was AMAZING!!!!!! He would go check on Griffin and come tell me the updates. He knew all the nurses by name, he knew what every machine was for and what the numbers meant. He knew what Griffin needed or what procedures they were going to do on him. He knew everything. I was so amazed and thankful for such a wonderful husband!!!!

When I finally got to go see Griffin, it was incredible. I can't explain the feeling I had getting to really see my baby for the first time. He was so tiny, yet so perfect. He was still on the oxygen hood but the O2 level was low. Which that in itself is amazing! The nurses had kept telling us next time we came he would probably be on a ventilator. But every time he wasn't. I think God was just breathing in his little lungs for him so he wouldn't need the ventilator :) He was never on any medicines, which again is amazing. For only being 32 weeks, he was way beyond what anyone expected. Here are a few pics from that first week.

At this time he was on the C-pap and no oxygen hood! He has the blankets around his arms and feet because he was moving so much he was burning calories and they didn't want him to lose weight! My little man is a fighter :)

This was Griffin's bed for the first week or so. His home away from home! Most of you have probably heard of Amy George and the Melissa George Foundation. They raise money to help the NICU. One of their goals is for every baby to have a Giraffe bed. These are top of the line beds (Don't quote me on this but I think they are over $1 million each) Well, here you go! This is a giraffe bed! We saw beds all around Griffin and none of them were Giraffe beds. God is good! He was in a top notch bed!!

The IV is in his head because he kept pulling it out of his hand!!!!!
And that spot on his cheek--he ripped the tape from the C-pap off his face and took some skin with it! Poor little guy.

Staring up at his mama :)
The elephant helps show how tiny he was!
The silver thing on his hand is Drew's wedding band!

Our first family picture :)

Griffin Andrew Downs

2008-10-20T18:57:00.000-07:00

***Just a note. I 'double' posted tonight trying to catch up. So there is one below that will help make this one make sense :) Lack of sleep and a demanding baby have been taking up my time :) Thanks for understanding and being patient!!***

I remember being wheeled into the operating room and shaking so bad because it was so cold in there! They made Drew wait outside until I had my anesthesia. My nurse was so wonderful comforting me and keeping me laughing :) All of the nurses were cutting up and laughing, the anesthesiologist was like a grandaddy, talking to me and making me feel comfortable. The entire delivery he was right there beside me making sure I was okay, giving me water, making sure I was breathing okay. Once I got the spinal and they started preparing me for a c-section, they let Drew come in. I remember seeing his face when he walked in---in his shorts and flip flops with a gown and 'shower' cap on :) He was adorable! And the best thing I could have seen at that time! I was still shaking I was so nervous and scared. I didn't know what to expect and all I could think about was 'I want to hear Griffin cry when he comes out' I kept praying that over and over.

Drew said during this time I was saying some pretty funny things. I was aware of what was going on and coherent, but kinda loopy :) He said I just kept saying over and over 'I can't feel anything. I can't feel anything' haha Of COURSE I couldn't! I wasn't supposed to!!!!! :) I remember the doctor saying 'Here he is! It IS a boy!!'. But I didn't hear him cry.........and it scared me to death. I remember I kept asking 'Why is he not crying? Is he going to cry? What's wrong? He's not making a noise. WHY is he NOT crying???' I was almost hysterical. It seemed like FOREVER before I heard a noise (although Drew said it was just several seconds). But it was the most precious sound I have ever heard in my life. I started crying and kept thanking the Lord. My baby was ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And he was crying. His lungs were okay!!!

They cleaned him up and wrapped him and brought him over to me. I will never forget seeing his precious face for the first time. WOW!!!!! There is no feeling like that. He was a precious life the Lord had created, and He had given me a love for my child like no other! The neonatalogist handed him to Drew and said "Come on Daddy, let's take him to the nursery!". So Drew got to carry him all the way up to the NNICU. I was so jealous when I found out :)

Griffin Andrew Downs was here.

8 weeks early.

3lbs 7oz, 16in long.

Healthy. Perfect. Beautiful.

And his lungs were fine :) Our God is great!!!!

Here are some pictures of Drew walking into the waiting room to tell the family he was here!

A very proud Daddy :)

When I came out of recovery, the nurse wheeled me to the NeonatalIntensiveCareUnit (NICU). I was still very drugged :) But I wanted to see my baby! He was so tiny. But so perfect! They had told us at the beginning that he would probably go on the ventilator for a while since his lungs were not fully developed. Well, God had other plans to show off His power and grace. Griffin NEVER went on the ventilator. And that is NOT usual with preemies, especially 32 weeks babies. We just can't stop thanking the Lord for the miracle He did in our lives and in Griffin's body. Here are the pictures from the first time I saw him. He is under an oxygen hood just to help him a little. But he is breathing completely on his own!!!

Our little man was here. And he was okay! We found out later that he was smaller than they had originally thought because I had a blood clot on my placenta. We also found out later that 'they took him just in time'. Again, yeah right :) Throughout the entire thing, we saw God's hand in everything. I have always believed that God's timing was perfect. But we saw it and experienced it first hand during Griffin's birth. And I will say, it IS perfect. And He is an amazing Father! If they had waited any longer to take him, who knows what would have happened. But our Great Physician was in control and we are both here today to testify to His wonderful grace!!!

So the week begins..........

2008-10-20T18:12:00.000-07:00

On Monday night, everything seemed to be normal. My hospital bed was VERY uncomfortable, the food was nasty, the room was cold, but the nurses were wonderful. Drew spent the night with me and stayed by my side the entire time. He was so wonderful to me!!!!!! I have the best husband ever! :)

Before the 24 hour analysis, my doctor decided to give me a steroid shot for Griffin's lungs. We knew by this time he was coming early, but we didn't know how early. His lungs were not developed enough so the steroid shots speed up the process. They want to get 2 shots in and then after the 2nd, wait 48 hours for it to work. (This will be useful information later :) Anyway, on Tuesday afternoon the test results were back. My protein was still elevated, but not dangerously. It had been 4+ at the doctors office, but was only 3.3 on Tuesday. The doctor gave me the 2nd steroid shot and said to wait until Wednesday to make a decision. I was safe at the hospital if anything happened.

So the waiting began. We would hear one thing from a doctor, then hear something different. I would deliver on Thursday night. No, we will wait til the weekend. No, it will be Thursday night. No, let's send her home. AHHH!!!!!! It got to where we didn't know what to think or expect. I had the 2nd round of steroids Tuesday night at 6:00. We just needed to make it to Thursday night at 6:00. So we waited......and prayed. And let me just say right here---WE FELT YOUR PRAYERS!!!!!!!!!!! I have never in my life felt the prayers of the saints! We were scared, yes, but had such a peace about the whole situation. We can never tell you how much we love and appreciate every one of you.

On Wednesday, a different doctor decided to do another 24 hour analysis. We could tell by this if my protein was going down = go home on bed rest, or going up = deliver. I wasn't very happy with this because that meant ANOTHER day at the hospital. But it had to be done. At this point, I was just tired. I was wanting my baby to be okay, I wanted to be okay and go home and experience the rest of my pregnancy. I was frustrated because I felt so good, I needed to be at work earning money and not laying in a hospital bed. I was bored and ill :) But one thing the Lord taught me in this is I am not in control of anything. He had a plan for all of this and I needed to trust Him and be content in that.

The 24 hour test ended at 10:00 Thursday morning. I was expecting the doctor to come in and say it had gone down and I was free to go home. Little did I know! My mom had been there with me that day and had brought me lunch--potato soup from McAllister's. OH MY GOSH! It was the best thing I had ever tasted (probably because all I had eaten was NASTY hospital food). We did not have the test results back yet so there was still a question of whether I would deliver that night or not. My mom went and specifically asked the nurse if I could eat lunch at about 1:15pm (because you have to wait so many hours after eating before you can have a c-section). The nurse said 'No problem! She won't deliver tonight. Go ahead and eat'. So my mom brought me lunch....not knowing it was my 'last supper'! The doctor had told me that morning as well that protein NEVER doubles. It is usually a gradual increase but not double. HA!

When the doctor came in at about 3:00 she had a horrible look on her face. She sat down and said that my protein had OVER doubled! It was at 6.9. If you remember, I said they do emergency c-sections at 5!!!!!!!!!! BUT, because I had eaten a late lunch, I had to wait 8 hours before I could deliver!!!! My poor mom was devastated and so mad at herself for feeding me! She felt like it was her fault that I had to wait that long. I kept telling her it wasn't, the nurse said I could and it was okay. So we scheduled the c-section for 9:30pm.

Then I remembered----48 hours from the steroid shot was not until 6:00pm. If I had not eaten lunch and they rushed me to the OR, I wouldn't have gotten the 48 hours in!!!!! Isn't God incredible? (See, I told you that would be usful information later :) His timing really IS perfect! He knew exactly what needed to happen in order for Griffin to have that steroid shot and have time to work. And BTW, the doctor didn't HAVE to give it to me. She decided to 'just in case' I delivered early and he needed it. Yeah right! Again, it was His plan for Griffin to come early and He told that doctor I needed the shot then!!!!!!

So from 3:00pm on, it was the longest day of my life!! 6.5 hours seemed forever away. And then it all hit me. I started feeling bad, and got worse and worse. My BP was getting higher and higher. I kept hearing the doctors and nurses outside talking to my family and I could tell it was serious, but they weren't telling me anything. When they came in and checked my BP at one point, it was 199/109. People, that is STROKE level!!!!! It was dangerous. And I was getting really scared. I had my times of crying and again asking the Lord why He was doing this? 32 weeks is way too early. But every time, I just pictured the Lord's hands holding my sweet baby. Whether he lived or not, he was in the Great Physicians hands!!!!!!! And what better place for him to be?!

It ended up I didn't go to the OR until almost 11:00pm. A lady before me had a c-section, went to recovery then had to back because she was hemorraging. She was a young mother, but ended up having to have an emergency hystorectomy. That took longer than expected so mine was delayed. I felt so sorry for that poor family! But I think she was okay after that. But anyway, I felt better that at least mine was not as serious an emergency because I was still waiting. But the night seemed to go on and on. I was having a very hard time breathing and was scared out of my mind!!!!!!! Little did I know what my family was being told! I found out later my sister ended up in the bathroom crying and my mom was scared to death, and still blaming herself because of how serious it had gotten. I'm glad I wasn't out there with them :)

FINALLY at 10:45 or so, they came and got me. I remember getting out of bed and feeling so relieved that it was all about to be over. Yet scared to death because my baby was only about 4lbs. BUT, he had BOTH steroid shots and the 48 hours! Our God is good. My nurse was hilarious and when she rolled me out into the hallway, she said "Oh my gosh! You didn't tell me the paparazzi was here! I would have put on lipstick!" The hallway was full of about 25-30 people with cameras! Griffin was going to be the first grandchild on BOTH sides, so needless to say the entire family was there! Here are some pictures of them waiting :)

Proud Grandparents waiting!

Uncle Jordan waiting....wait, sleeping beside the coke machine!

Then it was time...Griffin was almost here!

The unexpected......

2008-10-07T17:28:00.000-07:00

When I got up on Monday morning, September 15th, it was an ordinary day. I actually felt pretty good (which is not normal when I wake up at 5:15am!). I went through my regular routine, went on to work, and had a pretty good day. I seemed to have more energy than usual and was looking forward to my doctor's appointment at 2:45. I just KNEW my BP would be down and the doctor would be pleased with me :) I was having a good ol' day!

My mom had decided that morning to go with me so we could go shopping afterwards. I still had a few things left to do in the nursery, and I had a feeling Griffin would be born early, so we wanted to finish it. I left work a little late and had to rush to pick up my mom. We got to the office just in time for my appointment. But I wasn't in a panic or anything that I felt would make my BP high. I still felt really good and was excited about going shopping. I waltzed on back to the back and sat down for the nurse to take my BP. When she finished taking it, she had a horrible look on her face. The nurse looked at me and said 'Let's hope this machine is broken'. I knew then something was not right. I looked over at the machine and it read '176/122'. DANGEROUSLY high for anyone, especially being pregnant. She took me straight to a room and told me to lay on my side. (This is supposed to help your BP go down). I had two more nurses come in and manually take my BP again, I guess hoping the numbers would magically change and be low. It was a little lower, but still way too high. I started getting nervous. This was all too familiar from when my friend had her baby 10 weeks early. Pre-eclampsia kept going through my mind. But I waited for the doctor....alone and scared to death.

When the doctor finally walked in (seemed like forever but I'm sure it wasn't) I knew something was wrong.....bad wrong. She looked at me and the first thing she said was 'Well, you are headed to the hospital right now'. I stayed calm and collected in the room. I tried to listen to what she was saying and remember it to tell my mom and Drew. She said my protein, which is the biggest indicator of pre-eclampsia was 4+. They do emergency c-sections when it is at 5. I was close. Dangerously close. She said it was wonderful that I had someone to drive me because I couldn't have driven to the hospital. She told me to go straight there and she was calling ahead to let them know I was coming. At that time, they were going to keep me and do a 24 hour protein analysis. If it went down, I would go home, if not, I would have a baby! (I found out later that my doctor thought they would deliver when I got there!!!) When she told me not to worry about making another appointment, that I would have a baby before I needed to come back to see her, I got scared. I just kept thinking, "This isn't happening to me. What is going on? I am only 32 weeks pregnant. He can't come right now! Ok Lord, I'm trusting You, but this is really hard!! Please don't make me go through this!"

I walked out to my mom and told her we had to go. As soon as we left the office I explained to her we were headed to the hospital. I am so thankful my mom was with me! Once we got in the car, I started crying. Hard. Uncontrollably. Hysterically. I don't think I would have made it if my mom had not been there. I didn't know what to think. This was my worst nightmare coming true. My baby was not ready to be here! I couldn't handle this! What was God thinking? My faith wasn't strong enough to handle this! I wouldn't survive. And I just wanted Drew with me. I needed my husband to hold me and tell me everything was going to be okay. But he wasn't there. My mom was precious in comforting me. But in that moment, I HAD to trust the Lord. I had no one else to trust but Him. Obviously, I wasn't in control, Drew wasn't, my mom wasn't, no one but Him. And I had to completely lean on Him and know He was in control.

Another thing I learned in that moment was about His perfect timing. I have always believed His timing is perfect and right for our lives. But things like that are so easy to say until you are in the middle of something where you HAVE to believe it. It did not seem like the best time, to me, for Griffin to come. It was too early. He wasn't ready. His lungs weren't developed. It was too early. It was too early. It was too early. That's all that kept going through my head as we were driving. But that was what I thought. But the Lord had a different plan for this little boy. It was His PERFECT time for Griffin to be born. It wasn't too early. It was perfect. And for whatever reason the Lord had for bringing him into this world 8 weeks early, I had to trust Him. I had to believe even in this scary situation, He was still sovereign and He was still in control. He knew Griffin would be born early before He even created him! So why should I worry?

Anyway, we got to the hospital, Drew immediately left work and came over, my in-laws came and people started praying. I could feel them in a way I have never felt before. Yes, I was scared to death. I'm a mama and I wanted my baby to be okay. But I had a peace that no matter what happened, we were going to be okay. I just had to lean on Him and trust.

They got me into a room and hooked me up to all the monitors. My BP was still high so I spent the rest of the night laying on my left side. My hip, my legs and my feet were all numb from laying there for so long :) But the nurses were wonderful and precious to me. I couldn't have asked for better nurses.

So I was in for a long 24 hours. I had to stay in bed the whole time and just rest. What a day!!

Little did I know what was ahead................

PIH...my silent enemy

2008-10-04T19:38:00.000-07:00

During my 3rd visit to the doctor's office, my doctor noticed my blood pressure was staying elevated. It wasn't dangerously high, but a little too high for pregnancy. She called is Pregnancy Induced Hypertension (PIH). She started me on some medicine--the lowest dosage for the least amount each day. Nothing to worry about, this was very common in first time pregnancies.

So I didn't think much about it. I just figured that was something I would have to deal with each time I was pregnant. Or this could be the only time! Who knew. But I wasn't scared or worried at all. So for the first 6 months of my pregnancy my blood pressure was controlled. It stayed very low and everything was great. Each visit they check for protein in your urine. This is because your kidneys are supposed to filter protein into your blood stream, but if your blood pressure is too high, it doesn't filter right and is goes straight through your body. So that is a typical thing they check every visit. Mine had always been zero, which meant everything was fine. But because I was a 'blood pressure' patient, I was having to go to the doctor every 2 weeks. Not fun, but necessary. But every time time I went everything was fine.

But on August 8th, there was a trace of protein. Not enough to be worried about---just a trace. But it was there. I started to get worried, but when the doctor wasn't worried, I was ok. I had started swelling in my feet and hands pretty bad, but they said that was normal for blood pressure patients. They increased my medicine because my BP was getting a little higher and not going down. But again, I was on the lowest dosage so I had a long ways to before it became dangerous.

On August 21st, a Thursday night, I remember laying in the bed watching my stomach and Griffin moving all over the place. He would NOT be still! But it was so much fun. I can't explain the joy of feeling your child moving inside you! God knew how to get to a mother's heart when He allowed us to feel that! It is a precious time. But I noticed on Friday that he hadn't moved very much. I figured he had worn himself out the night before and was just sleeping. Then on Saturday, I didn't feel him. By Sunday, I was scared to death. I knew something was wrong and I was terrified. I called my doctor first thing on Monday morning and they sent me straight to have an ultrasound. I cried all morning. But God gave me a peace about it. I had the horrible thoughts of planning a funeral, picking out a casket, losing my baby. But even in the midst of that, I had a peace. Even if I did lose my baby, God was still sovereign and in control. I can't explain it. It was my worst nightmare, yet I had a peace that passes all understanding. My mom took me for the ultrasound and even the tech was nervous. At 29 weeks this was not normal. But as soon as she started the ultrasound, we saw his little head move. HE WAS ALIVE!!!!!!!!!! I started crying, my mom started crying, and I think the tech even teared up :) That little stinker had turned himself around backwards (that's what he was doing that Thursday night!) and he had gotten stuck...literally. His little legs and arms were stuck and he couldn't move!!!!! It broke my heart because I knew that he had to be miserable! But I was so thankful he was okay! His little heart was just a beating and everything was fine. He was just being all boy!!!!! God is so good.

That very next week, the doctor increased my medicine and put me on partial bedrest because my BP was even higher. I could only work 8 hours a day and go straight home and do nothing. Well, on that Friday I was off work so I laid in the recliner ALL day. I mean literally, about 10 hours that day. I didn't feel good and I knew something wasn't right. I checked my BP was it was extremely high. The nurse sent me to the hospital to be monitored. Ended up it went back down and they sent me home, but I knew then something was not right. The medicine wasn't working. There were signs of pre-eclampsia but I wasn't going to worry. I knew all about pre-eclampsia because my best friend had her baby 10 weeks early because of it so I knew what to look for and expect. But I never thought it would happen to me.

But on September 15th, everything changed..........

The joys of being pregnant!

2008-10-04T19:06:00.000-07:00

Since I found out I was pregnant on a Friday night, I hate to wait ALL weekend to call the doctor's office to make an appointment. I wanted to go the next day and confirm this dream was for real! When I called on Monday, they told me I had to wait 3 more weeks!!!!!!!!! Ahhh! At first we weren't going to tell anyone that I was pregnant until we went to the doctor. But after talking about it, we decided why wait? The Lord had given us this little life, why think the worst and not share the joy with others? AND, if something were to happen, we had that many more people praying for us. So we spent the rest of that night calling all of our friends and family :)

I went to the doctor and they confirmed, yes, I was pregnant :) So I made an appointment for two weeks later---April 4th, 2008---the day we heard our baby's heartbeat for the first time. As soon as we heard the heartbeat, I started crying (of course! ha) But I can't explain to you the feeling I had inside of me. There is nothing like it. And on a side note---how can people say that the'blob' is not a life? It is NOT a blob, it is a baby. And at 8 weeks pregnant, I heard my baby's heartbeating. The brain was not even developed to tell the heart to beat, and yet it was beating. Isn't our Creator amazing?

About this time, I started experiencing some strange feelings....very strange! All I wanted to eat was cornbread and onions. I could have eaten them 24/7. I would go to Steak Out and get a cheeseburger just so I could have the whole slice of red onion!!!! I begged my mom to make her wonderful cornbread and I would eat more than anybody else :) BUT, the thought of Zaxby's and Mexican made me want to vomit! Then the cornbread and onions passed and all I wanted was Cracker Barrel's turkey sausage and scrambled eggs with a biscuit! Poor Drew took me to eat there about 4 nights a week for a while! What a precious husband! But the Zaxby's and Mexican still didn't sound good AT ALL! But besides the food cravings, I started having morning sickness. Ok, let me just say whoever named it 'MORNING' sickness was wrong. VERY wrong. It should be called '24/7-worst stomach virus in the world-flu-nausea-just shoot me-throwing up doesn't help-when will this end?-please give me some Zofran NOW'. Morning sickness....HA! But Zofran became my best friend....and looking at a computer became my worst enemy! I work on a computer all day, and sitting and looking at the screen made me so nauseated! I wanted to quit my job!

But every time I went to the doctor, I would forget every bit of that. I would have been sick 10 times worse if it would have helped my baby. I would have done anything for that precious life inside of me. But all I could think about was June 4th, the day we would find out what the baby was--a boy or girl? We were going to be happy with either one. I kinda wanted a boy so that my girl(s) could have an older brother, and Drew wanted a boy because they were "tougher than girls and we could get used to baby that was a little tough easier than a girl" :) At least that's what he told me. I think he just wanted a son ;) But we would have loved a little girl just as much. So at 2:30, Wednesday afternoon we went into the ultrasound room. We were SO excited we couldn't even talk. We couldn't wait for the tech to tell us what our little baby was! When she told us it was a.....................BOY! I started to cry (of course! ha:) Our little man was perfect and healthy. We had decided to name him Griffin Andrew, so now we could talk to him and call him by name!!!! She took some pictures of him for us so we could show off our son! This was our favorite--it looked like he was smiling!

And the first we thing we both noticed was he had my nose! If you know the Pugh family, you know we all have a pug nose :) And Griffin got it too! Poor little guy. But he was perfect and healthy and he was OUR son. And we had a love for him like no other. Until you are a parent, there is no way to experience this kind of love. I couldn't even see my son, yet I would give my life for him. I started realizing more and more the love of Christ in this. He loves us even more than I love my son! And He DID give His life for me! What an awesome and loving Father we have.

From the beginning...

2008-10-02T19:16:00.000-07:00

A girls dream is to get married at a young age, start a family and live happily ever after. At least that was my dream! And on June 11th, 2005, my first dream came true. I married Drew Downs, the most wonderful man in the world! He stole my heart and has had it ever since :)

Drew was still in school when we got married, so I worked full time while he went to school full time. We knew we wanted a baby, but the timing was not right. We wanted to enjoy being married and enjoy each other for a while. Drew's school schedule got a little mixed up and he ended up being in school a year longer than planned. Which put off the whole baby thing for a while. I was disappointed...because remember my second dream was to have a baby!! But I knew the Lord had us where we were for a reason and I needed to be content in that. Drew kept reminding me that until I was content where the Lord had us, He wouldn't take us any farther. And he was so right!

Drew graduated on December 16th, 2007. What a day! I have never been so happy and proud in my life! We had been married 2 1/2 years at that point and it had been a hard 2 1/2 years. Learning the whole marriage thing, school projects, working, it was all so new and hard. But Drew endured and made it! And I was ready for a baby :)

We prayed about it for a while and decided it was time to start a family. We didn't tell anyone because we wanted our parents to be totally surprised. I think I did a pregnancy test every month :) I couldn't wait for one to be positive!!

On February 29th, 2008, the positive showed up. I WAS PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think we were both in shock yet excited beyond words. I started crying, Drew just stood there and smiled and we couldn't stop hugging each other! We were living with Drew's parents at the time so we quietly went to our bedroom to enjoy the moment. I remember sitting on the bed and just staring at the test. Drew came and sat beside me and asked if we could pray together for the precious life that was now inside of me. Of course that brought me to tears again! Here I was so excited and I had not even thanked the Lord yet for this little one. My precious husband reminded me that this life was a gift from the Lord and we needed to dedicate it from the beginning.

Since we were living with Drew's parents, we knew we couldn't keep it a secret. So we went downstairs and told his parents. Needless to say, they were shocked but estatic. They had been wanting a grandchild for a LONG time, but had been wonderful and not pressured us :) Of course I couldn't wait so we drove all the way to Athens to tell my parents. I couldn't even get in the door without telling them! We all cried, laughed, and screamed together! This was going to be the first grandchild on both sides so it was a special night.

We drove home that night still in shock. We were actually going to have a baby!!!!!

And so, the story begins.........................